The new Three Musketeers is all for nothing

The new Three Musketeers is an odd bird of a movie.  This new adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ classic novel has every requisite for a major big screen blockbuster.  It has the fast moving action scenes.  It has the sex appeal with star Milla Jovovich.  And it has the romance subplot for the tween and teen audiences.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good movie. 

This new adaptation of the classic story makes audiences want to like it.  But the problem is that its impossible to tell whether or not it was meant to be taken as a serious re-imagining .  The sword fighting scenes are great fun to watch.  But other than those scenes, there is little else positive to say about this movie.  That’s even if it isn’t meant to be taken as a serious re-telling of the original story.  The major problem with this adaptation of The Three Musketeers lies in that it has no originality whatsoever.  It comes across as little more than a ripoff of Robert Downey, Jr’s. recent mega re-imagning of Sherlock Holmes and the Sean Connery led flop that was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.   From the sets to the special effects (cg-included), there was little original to this flick flop.  The amount of CG based special effects is reminiscent of both movies.  Whether it be the flying ship scenes or MIlla Jovovich’s fight scenes with the king’s guards, or the early scenes in which the Musketeers break into DaVinci’s vault, the cg used throughout this movie was simply far too much over the top.

The Musketeers’ breaking into DaVinci’s vault is a slight hint at the story that’s eventually revealed to audiences.  The problem is that the story isn’t even fully revealed until nearly an hour into the movie.  The rest of that time waiting is filled with lots of sword fights, not so witty banter and even a really bad joke about cleaning up after one’s horse.  When the story is finally revealed to audiences, it’s so outrageous that it, along with all the over the top cg based special effects, make suspension of disbelief impossible.  Suspension of disbelief is key to any movie.  Movies are supposed to be about escape.  And even as much as audiences want to escape into this high energy action flick, the inability to suspend disbelief prevents it.  That, combined with all the movie’s other problems, make The Three Musketeers one of the worst movies of 2011.

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