Courtesy: Universal Studios
First, there was Despicable Me. Then came its far less entertaining or memorable sequel Despicable Me 2 only three years after the original movie’s release. Now two years after the release of that movie, audiences Universal Studios has taken yet another step back with the release of its new Despicable Me hybrid spinoff/prequel MInions. Minions has remained one of Hollywood’s worst-kept secrets ever since the release of Despicable Me five years ago in 2010. Regardless of whether or not audiences have seen that movie, everybody knew that Gru’s little yellow, twinkie-esque henchmen would get their own movie somewhere along the line. It was more a matter of when than if. The thing is that just as everybody knew the movie would happen, everybody also knew that there was no need for this movie to be made, either. And this movie proves that argument without a shadow of a doubt. Given it is not the worst new theatrical release of 2015. But it definitely is anything but one of the year’s best. The main way in which it proves itself so forgettable is its script. This movie’s script is completely contrived and feels as if it was written both by and for someone with ADHD. The fact that it felt like it was written by and for someone with ADHD is in itself another issue that weighs down the movie. It jumps from point to point and moves so quickly that audiences really must pay close attention to the movie in order to keep up with everything going on. For all of its major problems, it can at least be said of Minions that there is one shining light among everything. That shining light is the work of the movie’s cast. More specifically, veteran actress Sandra Bullock is to be commended along with fellow veterans Michael Keaton and Allison Janney. While the movie’s cast is impressive in its own right, it still is not enough to save the movie and make it anything memorable or fully enjoyable. That being the case, Universal Studios’ new CG-based flick Minions proves in the end to be one of this year’s worst new theatrical releases.
Universal Studios’ new CG-based family flick Minions is one of the worst of this year’s crop of theatrical releases. This includes both the year’s new family flicks (as rare as they are) and movies overall. It is yet more proof that Hollywood’s seemingly unending river of prequels, sequels, remakes, and spinoffs is something that must be halted. This is made most obvious through the movie’s script. The script behind this movie is completely contrived. It follows the evolution of the Minions from pre-history up to the 1960s, when they meet their first real “master” who was not Gru. Instead it was a woman named Scarlet, who as it turns out was the world’s first female supervillain according to the story. Of course, them being her henchmen and bumbling through a bunch of Three Stooges style comedy in their roles, writer Brian Lynch decided to give them the standard zero-to-hero story, even making Bob King of England for about eight hours along the way. Of course they go from living it up in Buckingham to suddenly just changing the law and letting Scarlet take over before becoming heroes, stopping her in the end. Some might ask the question, “what’s wrong with all of that?” The problem with all of that is that suspension of disbelief is very difficult considering it all. The minions essentially created the whole mess when they tried to steal the queen’s crown for Scarlet. That set off the whole chain of events that would lead them to face off against Scarlet in the end. Having stopped her, the minions are rewarded for basically cleaning up a mess that they caused in the first place. Sound Familiar? It should, Avengers fans. Yes, this critic went there. Taking the entire story and its outcome into consideration alongside the events of Despicable Me and its sequel, it really leaves one questioning how exactly the Minions could go from zeros to heros and back to serving another evil master along the way. The big picture of it all just makes this story’s script completely contrived and unbelievable. In turn it makes the movie rather unenjoyable in and of itself.
Brian Lynch’s script is in itself a major stopping point for Minions. It is just one of the problems that weigh down this largely forgettable flick. The movie’s pacing is another heavily weighing factor. The manner in which Lynch crafted the script makes it feel like Lynch himself has ADHD or ADD and in turn wrote it for similar audiences. Lynch wastes no time with the story once he really gets it moving. Once the Minions meet Scarlet, things pick right up and move so fast that audiences are left feeling as if they have to have a program to follow the story. After all, it doesn’t take long for Kevin, Stuart, and Bob to go from being lowly no one henchmen to living it up in Buckingham Palace to looking again for their next master, even after having been made heroes (again) for cleaning up a mess that they created in the first place. The whole thing moves at what feels like a rapid fire pace from beginning to end, slowing down only momentarily at given points. That quick pacing partnered with a script that is anything but believable or memorable, Minions proves even more why this movie, while not the year’s worst, is anything but one of the year’s best.
Minions, as it is shown here, is anything but one of this year’s best new movies. If anything it is more ammunition in the argument against Hollywood’s seemingly endless river of prequels, sequels, remakes, and spinoffs. For all of the issues weighing it down, it would be unfair to say that the movie is a complete loss. It can be said that despite the major glaring issues raised by the movie’s script and its pacing, the work of the movie’s cast it to be applauded. More specifically, the work of lead voice actor Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side, Speed, Miss Congeniality) and that of fellow veteran actors Michael Keaton (Batman, Batman Returns, Birdman) and Allison Janney (Juno, Finding Nemo, American Beauty) is to be applauded. Bullock is entertaining in her own right as the villainess Scarlett Overkill. Her chemistry with Pierre Coffin (who voiced the minions) makes for plenty of laughs. While Keaton and Janney only play small parts in the movie, they are just as entertaining as Walter and Madge Nelson, the evil, bank-robbing couple that brings the Kevin, Stuart, and Bob to Villain-con in the first place. The duo’s demeanor as they pick up the minions and then proceed to rob a bank on the way to the convention is hilarious. It’s not the first time that movie villains have been portrayed in such comical fashion. But that doesn’t make the pair’s portrayal any less entertaining. The same can be said of their work later in their shorter appearances, too. Their work in those moments is no less entertaining than in their central appearance early on in the story. That the pair remained so entertaining throughout even in bit parts is a tribute to each actor’s talents. Those talents and those of Bullock combined together make for plenty of laughs throughout the course of this movie. Of course as much as the trio does for the movie it still is not enough to save the production. In the end, even with their efforts, Minions still proves to be a movie that is going to find itself just as forgotten as its predecessors and the majority of Hollywood’s countless other prequels, sequels, remakes, and spinoffs.
Universal’s new Despicable Me prequel/spinoff Minions is anything but one of this year’s best new theatrical releases. It isn’t the year’s worst, either. But it definitely is not one that will go on to be anything memorable in the long run. That is thanks in large part to a script that at its base, is rather unoriginal. The script sees the minions creating a mess in their search for a master and eventually cleaning up the very mess that they created and being rewarded for doing so. The script’s pacing is just as problematic as the story housed within the script. The pacing of the script requires audiences to remain fully engaged in the story for fear that they will miss something. It moves that fast. While both elements weigh down the movie very badly, it can be said that Minions does have at least one saving grace—the work of certain members of its voice cast. Those members specifically are lead actor Sandra Bullock and supporting cast Micheal Keaton and Allison Janney. Their collective work makes for its own share of entertainment throughout the course of the movie. However that entertainment is still not enough to save Minions from itself. That being the case, Minions proves in the end to be a movie that while not the year’s worst movie, is also anything but one of this year’s best. Rather it is one more work that will hopefully do anything but make its audiences into minions of Minions.
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